De-toothification
The Swami possesses many great powers. The Swami has never possessed strong teeth. [We shall skip any allusions as to whether Swami is merely possessed --- or whether he should be repossessed].
Swami over the years had slowly progressed to the point where the majority of his teeth had received root canals. One of Swami's less memorable Christmases was when a very nice English dentist did a root canal on Christmas Day 1977 in Dubai, so that Swamette, The Boys and I could leave the next day on a flight to the Far East.
Last Tuesday Swami had the last of several weeks of dental work done. It culminated in having the last six upper teeth removed and the upper denture inserted. Swami now knows the true meaning of the word "sore." Swami, who was awake but numbed, developed a very quick, and deep appreciation for what any dental patient prior to anesthesia had to go through.
The Swami almost had the vapors when the dentist asked his assistant for "the mallet." No folks, Swami is not making funny; that is actually what the dentist said and what he used at one point. Fortunately, prior to that point Swami had not irritated the dentist by attempting to inflict any humor upon him. The good news is that with relatively little [read: no] effort Swami has been able to go from 185 to 175 lbs. in only eight days. I can tell as I ride Zak the Yak up the valley that he appreciates my weight loss.
After seeing what an effective weight loss program this is, Swami may be patenting and franchising the all new Denture Diet Plan. (Opening soon in a strip mall near you).
If you want to get in on the ground floor of "Swami's Denture's In An Hour Weight Loss Plan," start saving for your franchise fee now. Swami may need to begin advertising this and other money-making opportunities (for Swami) on this web site soon.
Hey, you think it is cheap for Swamette to pay for prescriptions to keep Swami semi-sedated?!
3 Comments:
What was "the mallet" used for?
I had a dentist KNEEL on my chest to get a tooth out.
The only diet I can think of that is better than the Swami Denture Diet is childbirth. You lose 8 pounds in 5 seconds.
OMG Swami! My eyes are watering just at the thought!
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