Apple to the Rescue, Yak not quite

Apple's next generation iPhones will go on sale later this month.  This is occurring  just in the nick of time since Swami's early, first-generation wood burning model is on its last legs. Swami had hoped to await the introduction of the 11th generation iPhone in 2018, since usually reliable sources report that it will include a juicer, coffee grinder, and a weedwacker.  Swami is currently seeking a volunteer to arrive at the local Apple store to save me a place in line. The last time Swami fastened his yak's harness to the front of the store several days before the iPhones went on sale but ran into some unfortunate difficulties with the local constabulary and the health department. Most distressing.

I'm sure that if someone had merely visited a nearby hardware store they could have remedied any unpleasantness with the purchase of a few shovels and a 55 gallon drum of Febreze.