Yak Herder Central

Yak Herder and his trusty(?) altered ego, The Swami, are content to provide little content of their own, but delight in providing "helpful" commentary to the blogs of others ....ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FAIRLY UNBALANCED

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Commando: Eliminating the risk of Underwear Bombs

Swami is disseminating the following info on behalf of the Transportation Security Administration:

1. In the wake of the unhinged "Underwear Bomber" (also known as the "Fruit-of-the-Boom" crotch-bomber) on Christmas Day, the TSA is mandating that all passengers who have not gone through a full-body scan must fly without pants.

2. Also, to ensure that substandard explosives are not brought aboard planes,  each terrorist will have to produce a TSA certificate showing that he has visited a US military testing ground and detonated the actual batch in his underwear. The TSA hopes that this will not make him less appealing to the 72 sturgeons or 72-year-old virgins or whatever await him down below.

Meanwhile, Congress has the conundrum of implementing stringent airport security without inconveniencing themselves or Washington's infestation of lobbyists.  Until such time [insert color photo of infinity here], Swami is implementing his own security measures. 

Most notably, whenever his lovely wife, Swamette or someone claiming to be Swamette, enters the room, Swami does a full-body patdown.  One can never be too careful.

THIS JUST IN: Until further notice no underwear can be worn aboard any flight.  Don't you feel safer already?