Yak Herder Central

Yak Herder and his trusty(?) altered ego, The Swami, are content to provide little content of their own, but delight in providing "helpful" commentary to the blogs of others ....ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FAIRLY UNBALANCED

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Harry Potter: The Saga Continues

Swami was checking to see the ranking of his older son, Geoff's book on Amazon. [Kevin's book will not be out until 2008, so it is not yet available for pre-sale]. Geoff's book (C.C. Pyle's Amazing Foot Race: The True Story of the 1928 Coast-to-Coast Run Across America) is coming out July 10, and has been ranked as high as about 38,000. Inexplicably, another book, that does not come out until July 21, (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) is ranked #2 on Amazon. Go figure.

The Swami believes that it is possible that the ranking of Harry Potter is due in part to what may be the hype that this is the "final" book in the Potter series. Swami's unique sources have led him to believe that there may, in fact, be more books in the series, and that they are already in the planning stages.

Yes folks, within a couple of years you may be reading the 8th and 9th books in the series. Thats right, Harry Potter and the Weasel of Doom, followed by the long-awaited Harry Potter and the 80 Acres of Yaks. The latter book takes place in a veritable Eden and has a sub-plot wherein Harry attempts to train a Boston Terrier to herd yaks as he (Harry, you ninnies, not the Boston) continues to battle the forces of evil.

The actual "final" tome may be book ten, which follows a crotchety Harry as he becomes a door-to-door salesman in a British nudist colony. Rumor has it that Harry may already be in training for this job.

Meanwhile The Swami must round up the herd and head for the hills.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Cable Guy & Zak the Yak

Swami spent the day trying to get his cable TV connection fixed. Oh sure you are probably thinking that The Swami's cable connection succumbed to the snow and ice. Oh no, nothing that simple. Our cable box has apparently been hacked by some computer maniac.

For the past week or more our local channels have been replaced by The Snow Terror Channel and The White Doom Breaking News Report. Then a couple of days ago when we finally gave up on the local channels and decided to switch to CNN, it was replaced by The All Anna Nicole Smith All-the Time Channel. Well, at least Swamette and I thought that it couldn't get any worse.

Well, Wrong-o again, Baldini. Today CNN switched to All Anna Nicole & All Britney All-the-Time.

Swami is going to turn off the TV and go back out and feed the yaks. Zak and the yaks seem to exhibit much more class and intelligence than most of the celebrities on TV.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Going To The Dogs With 425 Horsepower

As Swami was beginning to blog he glanced over his shoulder at his wood-burning flat panel TV and saw the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. They were showing a clip of last year's winner, a bull terrier named Rufus, which has to be one of the ugliest dogs there is. Swami would post a link to his photo, but he does not want to take the time to find a photo nor does he want to do five to ten for copyright infringement.

As The Swami has often mentioned, The Lovely Swamette is wonderful and wise. However, there are times when she has been able to influence Swami to make an unwise decision. Such was the case several years ago when Swamette in her wisdom convinced The Swami that he should take advantage of a late summer sale on snowblowers.

Today we had about 4-5 inches of snow topped with a hard crust of about 1-2 inches of mixed snow and ice. After getting home without too much trouble, Swami ate a delicious dinner and then went out to clear the driveway (which had also been driven over by several cars by that time).

Forty-five minutes later when Swami dragged himself back into his abode, he knew for sure that he should have bought the snowblower that was his first choice: The one with the Hemi.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

An Over-heated Turban?

Swami is beginning to wonder why he bothered to get the road salt washed off of the yaks today. The local weather men, those perennial prophets of DOOM, are forecasting snow that may equal or exceed the 17" we received on Dec 24, 2004. Other online weather sites say an inch or two. Just to be safe, the weathermen are recommending panic.

Swami noticed that yesterday Susan mentioned that the heater in one of their cars had not been working, but that she fixed it and it was really putting out "HOT HEAT." That is really a coincidence. Just today Swami noticed that the heat in his vehicle had gotten really hot. At first The Swami thought he must have bumped the heater control, but then he realized that the auxiliary heater in his turban had shorted out. Fortunately, there was no serious damage to the turban, al though several nearby buildings nearly burned down. Swami believes that it is possible that his turban may have overheated while he was in deep thought over the term "hot heat." Swami, personally, has not encountered any other type of heat.

The near-zero degree weather the past week or so has forced The Swami to have to go out and top off the yaks' anti-freeze a couple of times. At least it is a little more convenient to do so now that it's possible to keep the boxes of anti-freeze chilled in the fridge.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Does Snow Bring Out The Flakes?

The weather men were predicting DOOM. Offices were closing early. Cincinnati was expecting 4-6 meters of snow. Well, at least people were acting and driving like we were about to get at least 4-6 feet of snow. We actually got about 7 inches of snow.

That was enough to turn a 40 minute drive into 2 1/2 hours. Swami thinks that he must have taken a wrong turn as he left Cincinnati, because he apparently went through northern Minnesota and four feet of snow on the way home. That is the only explanation he can think of to explain what could have caused traffic to go as slowly as it did.

The Swami had NO trouble walking from his office to the parking garage or staying upright while walking behind the snowblower. Why, you say? Because Swami was wearing his Yak Trax. There is little doubt that Swami should have ridden Zak the Yak to and from work today.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Is This Zombie Awareness Week?

Swamette, despite momentarily having second thoughts about her arthroscopic knee surgery, had a successful knee operation. She decided that the alternative, having Swami get out his Time-Life Book of Home Surgery, was not a good idea.

Swamette is recovering well. She is already able to walk without the walker that she used for the first couple of days. She is now using a nice squirrel-handled cane that Susan gave her for Christmas. I believe that Swamette may be trying to use this surgery as an excuse to slack off a bit. She keeps saying that she does not think that she can help to herd the yaks while she is using a cane. I'm sure that most people would agree that this is a pretty lame excuse.

While cruising the internet Swami came across a site that he is sure many of you will find very helpful in alleviating one of your concerns. The Zombie Preparedness Initiative will give you tips if you lie awake at night worrying about an attack of the Zombies. Visiting that site will also have another very salutary effect: by comparison Yak Herder Central will appear to be a mecca of mental health.

The Swami has received a confidential report from The Bureau of Land Management. It specifically makes reference to a clear-cut case of failure to fully utilize 80 acres of woodland in southeastern Ohio. In that case the land is deemed to be highly suitable for raising a herd of yaks. Yet, for reasons that are almost beyond comprehension [well, The Swami's comprehension] the owners of the land have no yaks. I know, it boggles the mind, doesn't it?!